"Crying Time Again!"

It's a Saturday, prior to the Wednesday that I go for my third treatment. When I rolled out of bed this morning, I knew that it was going to be a "crying day." I have found that when I get in one of these moods, nothing soothes me, like God's Word and fervent prayer. The only thing I can liken it to is the saying I used to hear as a child.."It feels like somebody just walked over my grave." Worry sets in and all the "what ifs" began to speak to you. A look in the mirror doesn't help matters either. I can actually say that I have had the scare of my life, only by seeing myself in all of my weakness. I have heard that during chemo, you have one bad week and two good ones, before you have to go again. But I am learning that the last week for me, can be the worse because I am the closest to my old self. My appetite is back, I am feeling stronger, I enjoy getting out more, and all of a sudden, BAM! I am reminded that only a few more days and I'll have to start all over again... I must stay on guard, on task of being the new label I've been given, a cancer patient. On days like today, I try to count my blessings, which I know are many. I just hope and pray that after all is said and done, God will raise up from the ashes; a new me.